I hope your celebration was better than mine (that didn't exist).

Anyway, it's been an insanely long time since I last posted, so this is going to be an insanely long entry. Consider yourself warned.

We are now four weeks into winter quarter, and I've already lost count of how many classes I've missed. Because I wake up feeling like absolute crap almost every morning. It's like I'm constantly battling the flu or something. My whole body aches, I feel sick to my stomach, and I have absolutely no energy. Needless to say this makes it quite difficult to get out of bed. And when I do manage to make it to class, I feel completely lost and can barely concentrate on anything. I'm completely apathetic and unmotivated, and most of the time I just go through the motions because it's the only thing left to do.

I can think of only one reason why this is happening: my depression has taken over my life. Mostly because I've been without medication for almost a month now. Because my parents' insurance company is run by morons. Since I'm in college, I have to send them my schedule at the beginning of every quarter to prove that I'm a full-time student and stay on my parents' policy. Well, apparently they never received my schedule for winter quarter and terminated my coverage at the end of November. I sent them another copy of my schedule and was told that it would only take a few days to process everything, but it's been almost two weeks and I still don't have coverage. Granted, it is the holiday season, so it's probably taking longer than it would normally, but still. That's just rediculous if you ask me.

On top of all this, I've been suffering from major insomnia for the past month or so. I lay in bed almost every night with my mind racing and can't relax to save my life. No matter when I go to bed, I usually end up staying awake until about 3am (on a good night), which doesn't bode well for making it to 9am classes. And the sleep that I do get must not be very restful, because I usually end up sleeping for around 15 hours and still wake up feeling completely exhausted. I'm sure this is related to the depression, and not having my medication can't be helping the situation. But this has been developing gradually for awhile now, even before I ran out of medicine. So I don't know, maybe there's something else going on...

But I'm going to the doctor tomorrow (Tuesday) and I'm going to talk to her about everything that's going on. Hopefully we can figure something out because I'm sick and tired of... well, being sick and tired.

In other news, the holidays were insane as they always are for me. I've been stuck with my parents in Branson, Missouri for the last five days and I'm about to kill something. We're leaving in about seven hours and driving back to Fairfield, I've got both doctor and dentist appointments tomorrow, and then I'm driving back to Ada tomorrow night. I wanted to go back a few days early so I could get some extra hours in at work. Plus, I don't think I can handle another three days at home. I won't be able to get online much (if at all) until I get back, but I will definitely post an update with what the doctor says as soon as I can. I'm ready to go back, that's for sure.

For once in my life, I've decided to make a new year's resolution: take better care of myself. That includes eating right, getting enough sleep, taking my medication (including multivitamins) consistently, and exercising more. I'm also going to make my spiritual life a priority, and am currently in the process of finding a Christian mentor to help me get back on track with God. And I want to start blogging on a more regular basis. I know it sounds kind of silly, but writing my thoughts out like this really helps me relax and destress. Plus I know you all are just dying to know what's going on in my life!

Anyway, it's getting late and I need to get some sleep. I hope everyone had a good holiday season. Peace out.

I should really follow my gut instincts more often, because they always seem to lead me in the right direction.

For some reason, I decided to head on over to Padrone's during my break today and see if I could talk with a manager. They have by far been the nicest bunch I've dealt with... not to mention the only one that has given me any kind of positive feedback. When I went there to fill out the application a few weeks ago, they told me to expect a call. Well I never got one, so I kept going back every few days and asking about it. Eventually, I talked to the manager directly and she told me that they had just finished one round of hiring and to check back after Homecoming, which was two weekends ago. I hadn't really had much of a chance to stop by there until today, and for some reason I decided to go ahead and do that. Something kept telling me to just do it, and I figured I really had nothing to lose. But wouldn't you know it, I walked in and had an interview scheduled in less than five minutes. Thursday at 3:00. I'm not out of the woods yet, because I still need to actually get the job, but I'm a lot closer to that than I was. And the weight on my shoulders has decreased significantly.